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7/25/04 † 11:54 p.m.

WOW, WHAT A SERVANT'S HEART!!

Last night (after like 8 hours of studying!!) my roomates & I went over to these two girls' house to watch a movie (but we all ended up just talking). Well, we met this guy there, and all of us left in awe of him. It wasn't that he was good-looking or anything- he was just kind of average.

But what amazed us was his servant's heart. As soon as we got in the door, he walked up and introduced himself...then when some other people arrived with drinks, he proceeded to offer every single person in that room (and there were like 8 of us) a soda, girls and guys included, before serving himself, even though he sat right next to the drinks and had to walk up to everyone to ask them what they wanted. OH, and did I mention he not only handed them drinks, but wrote their names on the cups and took the time to ask them how to spell it if he didn't know?! But it didn't stop there- no; later on a recently-married-couple arrived with wedding cake leftovers, and he proceeded to get a few people some cake.

After we'd all been chatting awhile (me on the other end of the room from him) I got up to get a drink (as I had said no earlier because I hate to make people work while I sit so I always just get my own drink) , and he was sitting next to the cooler and took my cup and asked how much ice I wanted and filled it perfectly (you may laugh, but I don't like much ice- just enough to make the soda cold- and no one ever fills it right, they always add so much it gets watery).

I was just so amazed...all 3 of us (my two roomates and I) agreed as we left that night, that THAT is the kind of guy every girl should marry...that is the kind of guy WE want to marry, someone that truly radiates the love of Jesus. And I had JUST came to the realization recently maybe 3 months or so ago, that I wanted to fall in love with the Jesus inside of the guy I marry one day, not the guy himself; and here comes this guy...it's easy to see where my mind went next...although it's hard to explain it, I don't think I have a crush on him...it's more of just an awe and admiration for someone so Godly.

Well, he ended up asking my roomate for her phone number. That really kinda hurt at the time because 1) he has to be like 24 or 25 and she is only 19 and it is OBVIOUS she is that young- actually, you'd probably guess 17, 2) she had JUST gone out with another older, Godly Christian guy of marriageable age with a stable job (a 25 year old school teacher that is leaving for seminary in a month or so) the night before...and I was just thinking, "isn't it my turn God??" 3) She doesn't even dress modestly and I don't understand how these Godly guys are so attracted to her, it just really confuses me, because I thought a guy who is really close to God would just be turned off by all that skin. Although, she was modest last night...

All the guys I know are either 1) not saved and gay and years younger, 2) saved but not living right and years younger, or 3) not saved and on drugs and years younger. I don't have a single STRONG Christian guy friend that is my age or older and that bothers me, because yes, I don't date, but I DO believe that God wants me to be friends with guys, and that The One will come from a strong friendship. I want to be best friends with whomever I marry...but I also don't want to be old when I get there. I know I'm not ready for marriage though...(It was kinda weird- when I saw the guy above doing all that stuff, my first thought was, "I'm not ready to meet a guy like that yet God!!" Yeah, that statement seems contradictory, I know...but...)but I think I should have at least met a nice guy for friendship by now.

Anyhow, I started to beat myself up last night, thinking about how it was my fault because I didn't say much to him, or I just wasn't pretty enough, etc., etc. So I went home and went to bed sad...again...and then in the morning, I woke up...and well, there is another awesome story to THAT, but you'll have to click the "next" button to read it. :)

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