I thought I was over him. Completely over him. But then it happened. I ran into this couple from Purcellville, Virginia (where I used to live) at church (here in Georgia) this past Sunday.

I found out from Danny (w/o even having to ask) that Mason hadn't graduated from PHC last year like I thought, but graduated late instead; this past May, and that he is living in Purcellville still with a friend (still single, wow!!). I thought about it, and then it hit me; I was up visiting my friends in Virginia in MAY!!!

And then it REALLY hit hard- not only was I up in Virginia, but I had stopped with my friend Aviel by PHC the same day he graduated!!! PHC is a VERY small college with only ONE academic building and four dorms on campus. I could have bumped into him, but NOOO. The thought is sickening.

I mean, I prayed and prayed and prayed that God would just give me one more chance to talk to him, just one more chance to not act like a complete idiot, and maybe even establish a friendship. I mean I ignored the guy coming up to me wanting to talk, Sunday after Sunday after Sunday. Why was I so stupidly SHY? When will another gorgeous, Christian guy ever do that? Even if they do, I don't know, I still can't get Mason out of my head and I really don't think I will ever like another guy as much as I liked him. I wish I could go back in time.

I was praying about it the whole thing, trying to see what God was trying to teach me through all of this, and I realized it's that when I try to make things happen on my own, nothing happens.

Yet, I got an email out of the blue from a guy I rarely talked to up in VA, who'd found my email address and just decided to say hello. That was my reminder then that it could happen, Mason could email me out of the blue if God wanted. And then now this- I run into another guy I never talked to-I didn't even know his name before this past Sunday- it was yet another reminder that yes, if God wants it to happen, I don't need to hunt him down, God could have him bump into me, it's completely possible if it's God's will.

So actually I was really happy I had bumped into Danny. It let me know what was going on with Mason these days. But more than that, I felt this HUGE peace about the whole situation, knowing that God would work things out if it was meant to be, and if not, then He had some other guy out there for me.

But then I got off the phone tonight with Aviel and she mentioned that she had just seen Mason at the libray the other day. That just made me sick again...I don't know, God is keeping us apart.